People-pleasing is exhausting and it's something we all could probably stand to work on. Stop doing what everyone else wants you to do and do you. Here are three reasons to start saying no more often and start doing you.
reason #1 - you can do anything but you can't do it all
I hear this in blogging a lot, you can talk to anyone but you can't talk to anyone because if you're talking to everyone you're really talking to no one. The same goes for your life. You can be anything you want to be but you can't do it all because if you're doing it all you're really doing nothing. We can't do it all. Be selective with how you spend your time, money and energy and focus it where you want to grow - your business, your friendships, your relationship, whatever it may be.
reason #2 - when you say no to something, you're saying yes to something else
When you turn down one thing, you're making room for something else in your life and accepting that. If it's plans with friends you turn down, you're making room in your finances to take that trip you've been meaning to or to spend time with your husband or to sneak in that nap, whatever it may be. If saying no is hard for you at first, remember you're saying yes to that other thing you really want.
reason #3 - live for you.
Though we shouldn't walk around self-absorbed and we need connections with others, saying no to things makes more room in your life for what you really want and need for yourself. Ultimately it is your goals and your plans that matter most. If you're always saying yes to others then you can't say yes to yourself and you're likely not living for you! Girl, just do you and don't feel bad about it. You're who you need to be happy with at the end of the day.
Make intentional choices to free up room in your life for what you really want. That is what you're accomplishing by saying no.
my personal experience
When Cory and I got married, I got into some credit card debt (oops!). I was investing all my disposable income into our wedding - dresses for every event, the events themselves, gifts for my bridesmaids, etc. But I still wanted to spend time with my friends and I did. I said yes, a lot. To things I knew I shouldn't have because I didn't have the money to pay for them but I went and I swiped my credit card and the debt accumulated. Since then I realized saying no to things I didn't really want or need meant I was saying yes to other things (the wedding of my dreams, a debt-free life, a new shirt, whatever it was). I practiced saying no to basically everything I was asked for a few months in a row and it got so easy to say no and my debt went away so quickly because I was really saying yes to paying off my credit card debt. It may not always be about money and you don't have to be one extreme or the other but you have to remember when you turn down one thing you open yourself up to accept another (often better) thing.